Gratefulness: Another Millstone?

Definition: Millstone:

1. The circular stones used for grinding grain

2. A heavy and inescapable responsibility or burden.

God Himself took on the form of flesh in Jesus Christ. He stepped into human life in this event of the incarnation, God becoming man. In this event God Himself came down to our level, He made Himself one of us in order to reach and redeem us, to seek out what was lost (which was us), to fill the great and unbearable holes in our hearts from sin and lack of love and alienation from God.

By His death the price was paid, by His resurrection we have hope, today and always. Jesus came and continues to come to us again and again, freeing us from the “law of sin and death” (Romans 8:2).  Jesus deals with our hearts, so we don’t have to be slaves to sin and death and anymore. There is life more abundant, life to the full to have, and it begins the moment we receive that which we lack from Jesus who provides us with healing and wholeness so we can live and love and walk with Christ. We are free!!!!!

What a beautiful God, this God who is revealed in Jesus Christ! On the cross we see our God, who will go to any length to reach and redeem us, His children, His lost and wandering and wounded sheep. We see our God, who empties Himself, pouring out His love to us. We have hope today and always and forever.

Perhaps in light of this, we should be living each day as if there were no more war nor struggle nor death nor sickness nor crime nor darkness of any sort. We know all things are being made right, that all tears will be wiped away, all sorrow will be turned into laughter. We should dance, we should sing, we should live with hearts wide open, so much so that our joy pours out onto those around us.

We should.

Are you one who hears the pressure of THANKSGIVING with dread?

Sometimes, does it feel like we can take the incredible blessing of being a child of God, and turn it on its head, so it becomes a new millstone, reminding us yet again how we aren’t good enough?

Jesus says – child I have made you mine! Stop fighting the battle, I’ve already won it! Just rest.

Then around us we hear – aren’t you so GRATEFUL? A grateful heart is the best medicine. God loves a grateful heart full of grateful thankful praiseful gratefulness!!

Then competing voices in our head tell us – see, you aren’t even grateful for what you have. If you really appreciated the fact that Jesus died for you, you would act more grateful. You would bend over backwards to make everyone happy. You would make sure the turkey is perfect this year. You would travel halfway across the state to four different houses just to make sure all your family members got to see you. You wouldn’t be depressed nor would you be grieving. You wouldn’t be distracted and tired and sad, you wouldn’t struggle, you would do so much better at life if you were more grateful.

And the thing is – this is all true. Gratitude is incredibly powerful. It adjusts our perspective, it aligns us with humility before God, it reminds us what it is important. Much praise and thanks is due to God.

But I do something strange to myself when it comes to gratitude, and I know I am not alone. You see, rather than gratitude happening as an outpouring of God’s love for me, I turn it into something to wrestle with. Am I grateful enough? Do people know I’m grateful? Does God know I’m grateful? Do my actions reflect that I’m grateful? Is my balance good enough in this bizarre balancing act?

So now the gift of a grateful heart turns into another LAW, another RULE which I try to follow (and fail). It becomes another worthless WORK, another way in which I try to be good enough only to find out (again and again) that I’m NOT good enough. Another thing which points to my careless sinfulness and pride and ego. Another one of those shoulds which fill me full of guilt and shame. Another Millstone.

And that’s not all bad, after all, it drives me right back to my need for Jesus. There is only one solution to this kind of nonsense, and it’s Jesus.

You know where gratitude comes from? It comes from simply basking in the truth that I am a child of God. It is hard to be critical or act out on my dysfunctional personality if my mind is occupied with the truth that GOD LOVES ME. Gratitude starts there. Everything starts there. Seek ye first the kingdom.

Perhaps instead of seeking out my gratitude in turkey and stuffing and warm fuzzy socks and naps in front of the Lions Game, I should start with Jesus Christ and His incredible love for me. Because it is only, ONLY when I start there that I can even have eyes for the blessings around me, the blessings which are so, so abundant. Seeking to follow a standard, even a good one like gratitude, without first going to Christ who deals with the issue of my heart, is simply empty religion. I am a Pharisee sometimes.

So to you, dear child of God: 

To you who are exhausted. To you who are grieving the loss of your son. To you who are grieving the loss of a friend. To you who has a sick family member. To you who went through a painful divorce this year. To you who always gets depressed around the holidays, no matter how hard you try to just be normal and happy. To you who would rather hide than make the rounds to see the family. To you who is missing a soldier overseas. To you whose loved one is in prison or in a mental institution. To you who can’t afford to give your children a thanksgiving meal. To you who misses your daughter and grandkids because they live several states away. To you who still misses your parents even though they went to be with Jesus over a decade ago. To you whose loved one is drinking or smoking crack today. To you who has been hurt and wounded in unimaginable ways. To you who struggles with mental health. To you who feels trapped like a rat in a cage. To you who are exhausted…

Give yourself a break. Life is hard, and this world is broken. There is no better proof of this than Jesus’ death. It hurts to be here sometimes; even as He is with us, giving us new mercies always, it still hurts.

 Jesus knows all about our ungrateful hearts, he took them into account when He died for us, and He died for us anyway. Do not add another millstone around your neck by bludgeoning yourself with guilt for not feeling grateful enough! This is not what Jesus wants, he came so we could stop doing that already. Instead, bask in the fact that He is enough. Spend time with Him, fill your mind with His word and His goodness. Seek Him first. Receive from Him the grateful heart which you cannot grant yourself.

O Soul are you weary and troubled? 

No light in the darkness you see…

There’s light for a look at the savior…

And life more abundant and free!

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, 

look full in His wonderful face…

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. (Sing to the Lord 327)