Grace and Shopping with Kids

I did my weekly grocery shopping trip on Monday, and you never know what you’re going to see while grocery shopping, right? Anyone who has ever been to Wal-Mart will agree.

As we were checking out, I saw a mom with two children. One was still a baby, riding in his car seat which was latched on the cart, chewing happily on anything and everything. The other was a toddler, riding along in the top of the cart, flashing big mischievous smiles at anyone who would look. Groceries were overflowing and covering the entire bottom rack of the cart.

The mom was obviously tired and flustered. Her hair was up in a loose ponytail with untamed strands falling everywhere, and she was pale with no make-up and no effort to look otherwise. She was wearing a black t-shirt with an unflattering pair of gray sweat-shorts. I could see where the bottom of one of her flip-flop sandals was coming unglued. Her t-shirt was smeared with what I recognized to be baby drool and snot.

The little boy was loud. Mom would repeat “No, stop it,” quietly through clenched jaws, and the little boy would reply with a resounding “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” shouted at the top of his lungs. He was reaching back into the cart, grabbing for anything he could get his hands on, and throwing items out of the cart and onto the floor.

I watched her pale face turn several shades of red as she tried to put her groceries on the belt. The little boy was now reaching for anything he could grasp on the shelves around him. He tried to stand up, only to have his mom grab his legs and hiss “SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW.”

His response was another scream “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

People were starting to stare. The little boy sat down and was quiet for a moment. Then he poked his little brother in the eye. The baby began to scream.  

Mom was finished. She walked to the front of the cart, forced the little boy to sit down, grabbed him by the mouth, made him look into her eyes, and yelled, loud, “KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW!” Then she proceeded to put her items on the belt, slamming each item down as she went along. The little boy pouted and worked on manufacturing crocodile tears. The baby squawked and crabbed. Mom rolled her eyes. She angrily swiped her card, never even looked at the cashier, and proceeded to push her cart and two tiresome children out of the store, ponytail bobbing and broken sandal smacking the ground.

I couldn’t help but feel pity for her, and really pity for the children who have an angry mom, a mom who clearly responds to childlike behavior by acting like a child herself. Sometimes I watch these mothers with out-of-control kids and I’m not surprised that the world seems to be made up of a bunch of adult-children who were never disciplined growing up.

And then Jesus said – “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. (John 8:7)” And all the people in the story walked away. No one threw stones, because no one could claim perfection.

The truth is that the woman at the check-out with the kids? She was me. It was a rough day.

So what was your reaction? (Don’t worry, if you stuck your nose in air and starting mentally ranting about the terrible state of parenting and spoiled children and laziness in the world today, no one else will know. This is a good opportunity for quiet, internal learning.)

Some days with kids are simply death by 100,000 tiny paper cuts. And some days, by 10am we are already up to paper cut #19,000 and I am ready to lose it. Little Theo sure is cute with his blond curls and irresistible smile, and he’s so very sweet and loving, but let’s face it- he can still be really naughty! The truth is that sometimes I really think he is out to get me. What would really make my mom crazy right now….?

That day, I walked out of the store knowing that I had earned several well-deserved sideways glances from other shoppers. I threw the boys in the car, gave little Theo fruit snacks to shut him up, piled my groceries in the trunk, and figured that there must be a guardian angel of Sauer Kraut because there is no other explanation for how that glass jar got thrown onto the hard floor three times without breaking.

After we got home and unloaded, I began to put everything away. I stopped and laughed out loud when I pulled a big fresh cucumber out of a bag, only to notice that it had a giant bite taken out of it from Little Theo. Then the bread was squished because I had to pry it out of Remi’s hands. An egg was broken and leaking. Corners of boxes were chewed and a yogurt was opened.

In some perfect world somewhere, moms grocery shop with adorable kids who smile and hold onto the coupons for safe-keeping instead of crumpling them up and chewing on them. Boys are clean and do not have snot running down their face, and they certainly don’t try to chew on the filthy, germ-filled handle of the shopping cart, God help us all. Moms are patient, organized, and never forget their shopping lists. They have time every morning to look very nice, they always dress attractively, and they never go out of the house with mystery body fluids on their clothes.

This is not my world, but my world is still perfect. Next time you witness the in-store tantrum of a child with a mom who is also nearing a tantrum, give them a break, won’t you? They are not the core of all that is wrong with the world – but perhaps they are the core of all that is right.